Friday. Mercy weep over me.

Listening to Mercy Weep Over Me by Bebo Norman.

I've decided that I'm not completely finished listening to Christmas tunes. I am usually listening to one of my cds in the car, but whenever I switch over to XM I quickly tap button 4 for XM 103 Holly. (: What a JOY! This morning I heard Celine's Ave Maria and THEN when I pulled off the freeway, what'dya know, it's Mariah Carey's, "All I Want for Christmas Is You." I love that song. It's not like it's very deep or even super Jesus-like, but I sure do think it has a lot of hoppin' joy. (: In FACT, I think my entire car was rejoicing. When I turned to come in the back side of our lot, my turn signal click was right on beat. I had to smile. Sometimes I think Jesus is funny in how he blesses us. What a fun gift.

Last night, I went over to Lora T's for some pizza and a movie... I haven't been feeling well and that's another story... but it was so much fun. She invited our friends Isaiah and Jamera over to join her. They are incredible kids... You can see them at my flickr site in the Family Night set. I love how they are so hungry and although have a few words to say about church, loveee coming to New Song. It's so neat to see how the church has really brought these kids under its wings. Thank you Jesus for teaching us how to love.

Ohhh! And I just have to share... Last night my roommate Katie came into my room while I was reading and just poured out her heart with such vulnerability in her time of brokenness. It was so encouraging just seeing her broken before the Lord. I let her share her heart for awhile and she cried while laying beside me... After a few moments we were both silent. As we sat there, I could sense that we were both silently crying out to the Lord. "Meet us!" "We want to be filled by you! We are desperate for your Spirit to complete us." "We long to be known and to have you invade our hearts." "Come near!" It was so powerful and although it was only a few minutes, it left me with much peace.

My heart seems to be at a spot of longing for intimacy as well as adventure. It's not that I am saying, "I want to be married" or even longing for a physical or sexual fulfillment. My heart is just crying out - to be a part of something bigger than me. To be searched, discovered, given away. When I talked to Jesus about it the other day, he told me that my desire was not foreign or inappropriate... but that He too felt the same way. That there are unchartered areas of his own heart that have yet to be discovered. For us to lightly trod upon the untraveled paths and for us to take away the beauty we encounter. Whether it be a radiant flower or a stone we trip upon. *sigh* We truly are made in his image.

Well, I guess that's all. I think he's teaching me to be still again. To listen. To respond. I love you!

Merry Christmas!

I actually have a lot to say but will wait until tomorrow... (: Anyway, I love you. Blessings!

the Answer.

Last night I went to the Answer produced and performed by people at my church, New Song. I wish that the whole world could see this musical. What a raw and yet so exquisite look at the birth of Jesus and how He truly rescues us TODAY!!

The story is two fold including 4 people who are invited to church to see a Christmas play. They all come from different backgrounds, from a homeless woman to a pretty church boy. After singing their individual stories, a gal invites them to come to her church to watch a musical. They attend the show and sit behind a curtain on stage watching the Christmas play. The rest of the story unfolds as a more "traditional" manger scene and then 3 individuals who represent many stories of people today - broken, without hope, living with perfectionism come out and share their story. It's so neat because they have "normal" clothes on while the manger scene of about 10 people have their historical garb. These 3 "normals" interact with the "manger people", all the while the "manger people" perform a nativity scene about the birth of Jesus. It's just wild!!! Like 3 stories in one. I love it!! At the end the original 4 people who came to the show realize the hope of Jesus for THEIR lives TODAY and the impact of Jesus' birth. It's incredible. Anyway, you must see pictures to visualize. (: Blessings this Christmas.

Love,
Bethany

The four LOST people.


The invitation.


They came to the play. Seated and Greeted.


The Nativity Scene. (Julie plays Mary!!)


The Three Broken "normal ones" and The Nativity


Time disappears and Mary interacts with Erin Crain (normal)


The Same Jesus for all Generations


Hope for the original four who "came" to the play!


Honoring the music behind the play.


Anyway, Enjoy! Merry Christmas!

Christmas Update!

Hi friends! I know it's been sooo long since I sat down and wrote a little update, but here I am!! Sitting on our maroon poofy or not so poofy couch in Iowa Falls Iowa. Oh yeah. (: The TV is on, my mom, Annika and Laura (sister in law) are playing the game Deal or No Deal. I just finished packing my bags and will head out tomorrow morning around 10:30 or so... It has been such an awesome trip to Iowa. The Lord IS changing my heart and I've had such a great time...

Wednesday afternoon, Kiara and Haley picked me up from the airport. It was so adorable, Kiara was wearing the cutest shirt ever - "Honey Bunny". She ran up to me so excited and gave me a big hug. What a sweetheart. We went to PF Changs for dinner with my not so helpful directions. Yummy though!! We arrived to the church right after 6:00pm. Kiara and I walked around the church where she found a bright pink and green Point of Grace shirt. She called it her "night gown"... Finally we got into the church and sat right near the front. The concert started at 7:00 p.m. and it was just dreamy!!!!! I haven't seen the girls for over 2 and a half years and it was such a treat. My smile never once faded. It felt surreal. And watching Kiara was so cute. She just adored them. And the girls were absolutely beautiful!! I found out that their dress designer is one of the designers from Project Runway. You've got to check out the pictures if you haven't already. After the concert we went out to talk to the girls. Kiara wanted them to "write their names on her shirt." And OHHH how she loved Leigh's dress. (: The girls were as excited to see me as I was them. I forgot how much I miss them and wish I could spend some time just talking. Anyway, we chatted for a few and snapped a couple of pictures...

Thursday I went with my grandma to get my hair trimmed and to go out for lunch. We went back to her house and hung out for the evening. Thursday night Ivy came over and we spent the evening together. We went out to Walmart and got some last minute Christmas presents.

Friday was SO much fun. I went to my Grandma's and met my cousin Sarah, her hubby Nathan, her two kids - Ida and Val, my aunt Lori and stepUncle Doug and my Grandma. We took tons of photos of her kiddos and family. Afterwards I went to my other grandma's and met my other aunt to celebrate.

It was a such a fun time just being with my family. At times in my life it's been so hard coming home and visiting with everyone. I know that it's mostly been my pride that has kept me from initiating in those relaitonships. But this time, it was so victorious!!! I know that Jesus has done so much in my life, but also he has done a great work in my family's too. In fact, last night I was up until 1:00 am talking to my cousins Ivy and Sarah about Jesus, spiritual warfare, God speaking, freedom and restoration. It was so encouraging and fun.

Today my third set of grandparents came to my house and we celebrated Christmas with my brother, sister in law, and sister (her girls). What a fun time. We ddi the whole presents deal and I watched 8 Below with my nieces. What a great time. I cried. Haha. Sweet movie and I think I'm in love with Paul Walker. (;

So here we are and I have my things packed. It's almost 9 p.m. central time and I am exhausted. I've been up late and getting up early everyday that I've been here. Still, I am excited for the week. Monday we have the Answer @Church - and a Christmas party at Parkland Chevrolet. I love my co-workers and miss my friends in Tacoma. Sometimes I get here and it's weird. Like Tacoma is an entire world away.

Alrighty, go see my pictures @ www.flickr.com/photos/bleev Enjoy!

A photo shoot day!!

Hey friends, what an incredible day it was today!! I had so much fun. I took family pictures for a couple of my faves and then got to photograph LUCY!! What a sweeeet baby!! I just have to share with you...



Guys, it was such an amazing weekend. We had a retreat with my roommates - at my house - but so refreshing. It was such a gift and more than anything I felt Jesus sharing his heart. Oh how much bigger his mind, goodness, and intentions for us are than what I can comprehend. It blows me away. I am in awe. And oh how his tenderness brings me to tears.

I'm going home this week - I can't believe it. It's the first time I've been home for Christmas in two years! Haley and I are taking Kiara to see Point of Grace. Haha, and it's been many years since I last saw them too. (: It's going to be a packed weekend. I can't wait to share pictures with you.

For now, here are a couple more from today!!

Love,
Bethany

Jackie's Birthday

Omigosh, these pictures are SOO fun!!!!! (:

It was so fun to celebrate Jackie!



And check out these beautiful candles with the fire in the background.




SOOO beautiful...

babies and birthday!

another whirlwind weekend!!! (: so fun though.

i spent the morning with my friend michal (who is a gal in my small group) and then went to julie cyr's baby shower. so fun - lots of mommas and babies! (:

bought a frame at jo-ann's and then shopped @Target with jackie... p.s. it was her birthday tonight which left me unable to purchase a gift for her. pictures from herrrr celebration to come!

p.p.s. reading a book called voices from the epidemic. aids doctors.

INSPI(RED).

It's World Aid's Day.
Acting on Aids. World Vision.
JoinRed.com
Join(Red) Blog.
Join(Red) Flickr.

elephant.

Prayer and Portraiture.

So.... can you pray for me? No details yet, but hopefully some will follow soon!! It's called opportunity. (:

Also, check out these beautiful and fun photos of Jennalise in my photo practicing tonight!





I'm SOOOO excited. (:

Night at the Gentiles.

Last night I went over and hung out with Aaron and Kerri! Super fun and very relaxing... We had Cocomotion. Have you heard of this? Fantastic, I tell you!

Anyway, here's a picture of Kerri and me on Thanksgiving. (:



I can't wait to take pictures of my nieces in a few weeks! An update is sure to come - SOON with perhaps some fun things to say!!

Love,
B

Happy Thanksgiving!

Okay, so I'm a day late, but I hope you had a good one. I took lots of pictures at the Gentile's.

Enjoy!

XM Holly!!!

Just what I've been waiting for!! Woohoo!!! I was searching the XM Radio Channels in search for this last night but never came across it! Guess I missed it! But WOOHOO!! I'm so excited. Christmas delights. Mmmmhmmm!!!

Whirlwind!

It's been quite a weekend... well extended weekend. I just got back from the airport - takin' IV... I can't believe she's gone already. We waited so many weeks for her to come and now POOF she's gone. But what an amazing weekend it was!


Thursday - Ivy flew in but didn't feel well upon arrival. A late night of conversation.
Friday - Lollyin' around Tacoma; meeting some friends. Takin' some pictures at the waterfront. A trip to Seattle which ended up not working, but still some great dinner and good company.
Saturday - Discipleship and UWT meeting followed by a nice nap and church! Love it. We came home afterwards and talked with roommies...
Sunday - Happy Feet and PF Changs. Yummmy! It was such a fun little excursion...
Monday - Went to the Dr. Target, two bookstores. And got some rest and more conversation. I love it.

Last night I woke up about 2am pretty sick to my stomach and ended up being in the bathroom a lot of the night. Yucky! So as not to contaminate my coworkers and even moreso get some rest, I am home from work. Talked to my boss this morning and will do a few projects. I can't believe that it's Thanksgiving in two days! SO wild!!!

If you haven't already noticed, I've posted a bunch of photos from Ivy's time here. So fun. Jesus is doing a lot in that girl's heart. So tender and pure.

The Purest Place

Paint me with Your purity
That I'd attract Your majesty
When others boast in fame and gold
The purest place is where I'll go

The purest place I will draw near
Do what it takes to keep me here
In the center of Your heart
The purest place is where You are

It's not with masses, not with kings
Not in these songs, or offerings
Not in this life, or what it brings
The purest place is You my King

If there's such thing as too beautiful
If there's such things as too wonderful
If there's such thing as too marvelous
Jesus it's You, Jesus it's You

It's You my King,
It's You my King
The purest place, is You my King

The Purest Place. Watermark.

I pray with confidence knowing that if this is the cry of your heart He promises to meet you. The purest place is with our King. Oh that your heart cries out in desperation - to be filled, to be washed, to be saturated, to be known. Draw near.

On the way to work today, I was listening to a cd that Lisa gave us... Watermark is a familiar tune in my car, but today this song came on and as I heard the line, "The purest place is You my King," my heart (and eyes) welled up with tears. It's like everything became clear. He is the purest thing we can experience. His purity within us - in everyway. The purest love, the purest pursuit of your heart, the purest kindness and goodness, the purest justice. He is the purest place. Oh don't you feel him drawing your heart near! I pray you are as blessed as I.

In Me.

If you asked me to leap
Out of my boat on the crashing waves
If you ask me to go
Preach to a lost world that Jesus saves

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that you want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

If you ask me to run
And carry your light into foreign land
If you ask me to fight
Deliver your people from satan's hand

I'll go, but I cannot go alone
'Cause I know I'm nothing on my own
But the power of Christ in me makes me strong
Makes me strong

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me

To reach out with Your hands
To learn through Your eyes
To love with the love of a savior
To feel with Your heart
and to think with Your mind
I'd give my last breath for Your glory

'Cause when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability

when I'm weak, You make me strong
When I'm blind you shine Your light on me
'Cause I'll never get by living on my own ability
How refreshing to know You don't need me
How amazing to find that You want me
So I'll stand on Your Truth, and I'll fight with Your Strength
Until You bring the victory, by the power of Christ in me
The power of Christ in me
The power of Christ in me

Casting Crowns.

Adventure and worship.

Just a couple parts of my heart that the Lord is unveiling. I've forgotten where they lie... But I feel them being exposed. Last night, I grabbed "Captivating" to be reminded of what John Eldredge says about Adventure...

Women love adventures of all sorts. Whether it be the adventure of horses (most girls go through a horse stage) or white-water rafting, going to a foreign country, performing onstage, having children, starting a business, or diving ever deeply into the heart of God, we were made to be a part of a great adventure. An adventure that is shared. We do not want the adventure merely for adventure's sake but for what it requires of us for others. We don't want to be alone in it; we want to be in it with others.

Sometimes the idea of living as a hermit appeals to all of us. No demands, no needs, no pain, no disappointments. But that is because we have been hurt, are worn out. In our heart of hearts, that place where we are most ourselves, we don't want to run away for very long. Our lives were meant to be lived with others. As echoes of the Trinity, we remember something. Made in the image of a perfect relationship, we are relational to the core of our beings and filled with a desire for transcendent purpose. We long to be an irreplacable part of a shared adventure.

I love this. And it rings so true my heart that we want to be in an adventure WITH others. I think that's where my fear enters in... Taking the risk to enter into a new passion or ministry and ending up being alone. No one with a similar vision. But I am confident that I won't be. And then there's just adventure too! One of my fellow managers is building a cabin near Mount Rainier so that he can rent to people as a getaway. Wow, what an amazing adventure that is!! Oh, I think I forget that there are still parts of my heart yet to be explored. (: Makes me excited. I'm not sure what I'm waiting for though...

Enter In.

So I have been listening to some amazing music the past couple of days. None of them are super "new" songs, but I'm confident you will be blessed by them! (Links to download in iTunes)

Mighty to Save. Hillsong. We sang this the other night at the Pantages. Holy Cow. A crowd full of people worshiping the King. Not that feelings are everything, but our God has a Spirit that is alive and moving!! It was incredible. The entire theater in awe of the Lord.

Rescue. Desperation Band. I mean isn't that enough? The song title and artist name? Wow. Lisa, who is leading our discipleship group gave us all encouraging cds to usher us into the presence of the Lord. Desperation is what she called it. Wow, intense. "I need you Jesus to come to my rescue. This world has nothing for me..." I am learning to love rescue.

I Lift My Hands. Hillsong London. Have a joy in your spirit that you can't hold in! This is your song. Give him the praise He deserves.

And Now My Lifesong Sings. Casting Crowns. Remember where he's brought you from.

Set Me Free. Casting Crowns. A verbal heart cry. Maybe you know this desperation. The power of crying out to the Lord!

Came to My Rescue. Hillsong United. Longing to enter in? Let this be your prayer.

Who You Are. Desperation Band. A declaration of who our Saviour is! Let Him be on your lips at all times.

May He anoint you with His Spirit and love as you enter in.

17 minutes.

So I'm giving you 17 minutes of my time before picking up the book Captivating to read some excerpts before bed. I'm sitting in my bed with my Dell Inspiron 6000 on my lap and I am reminded of my purpose in purchasing it! Portable web-design! Hehe. Funny how life so quickly changes. I haven't done much webdesign at all lately but have still dabbled in some graphic design - ahemm... I'm sure you've noticed the Christmas background. The tree and snowman are my first attempts with vector graphics. (: I hope you enjoy the season of red... Oh and for a little explanation for the majority of you who cannot easily access the delightful world of Starbucks... It's definitely Christmas in those stores! And the red cup - well it's pretty significant... At least to those who treat themselves with a daily cup of cheer! (: If you haven't been in one you must go! It's so adorable. I LOVE the Christmas designs this year - the red MUG and to go cup in honor of the red cup... Oh yeah and if you haven't visit www.itsredagain.com you MUST now! It's so adorable. You will for sure get a little chuckle and even experience a little pre-holiday cheer! I know it may seem that Christmas is a world away, but can you believe that THANKSGIVING is NEXT WEEK! Did you hear that? Next week! Just a few more days. Whoa man, blow me away. It seems like it came so quickly. I mean falling leaves, lots of rain (here) and bam we're in the holiday season again. Phew. (:

Let's see more update on my life. I've been processing and thinking a lot about my future, about my calling and ministry... I guess I've been dealing with some fear - just not sure where I'm supposed to be - and yet bombarded with a zillion and a half passions and visions. I have sensed a deep hunger growing in my heart for adventure (that's the reason I'm going to pick up Captivating again. John Eldredge loves expounding on our hearts' cry for adventure.) Anyway for the past 5 months I've been involved with the University of Washington Tacoma ministry team and I have LOVED it. Jesus has shown me that I have a growing heart for college ministry and college age students. Theyr'e just so impressionable and I love them dearly. Maybe it's because I have experienced college and can "understand". Plus they really were some of the best years of my life. So many new life experiences, perspective changes, eyes opened. The memories I could share... And yes also some of the most difficult years of my life. But still, I don't regret them. I look back fondly and see over and over how Jesus revealed RESCUE to me. Over and over again... Anyway, last night it all came to a head or at least a burst of emotion. Like I said, I had been thinking about a lot of things lately and I realize that I internalize a lot of thoughts and then they end up becoming fears or things I am anxious about... Well, the Lord spoke to my fears of being alone and of taking risks to be fully Bethany! SOrry, distraction. Sandra came in with her new coat - which is SOOO cute and red and white. Hmm! Fits right in... Alright... where was I... Oh yeah - just an underlying inadequacy in the ministry the Lord has for me - wondering "what is my ministry and is it effective..." well prayer brought MUCH relief and a release from kids church to enter into greater relational PEOPLE loving and initiative ministry! I'm not sure what it will look like exactly - but more stuff with UWT, Relationships, friendships, and intercession. I'm SO thrilled.

On another note, you should all read "Practicing God's Presence" by Robert Elmer or the original by Brother Lawrence. It will rush you into the throne room of His presence and encourage you to keep plugged in with his Spirit. Oh I love it so much. I have been practicing conversation with the Lord and I realize how much he is just so simple and desires to know and be known just like any other friend.

Finally, IVY comes on Thursday and I am waiting with MUCH expectation. I know that Jesus has so much for her. It's been so wild to see how Jesus is slowly bringing restoration into my family. I pray that it continues to grow.

Tomorrow I have discipleship with Michal. We're talking about prayer and intimacy with the Lord. Yay. It should be awesome.

Alright, this has taken me a LOT longer than 17 minutes to write and I must go. I love you!!

10:01 P.M.
Bethany

So here's another test...

I've noticed that titles have not been showing up.... hopefully this works!

ugly in firefox. Sorry. I don't know what happened.

Omigoodness. I don't know why, but I am just SO happy today. Maybe it's the leftover Peppermint Mocha brewing in my veins! Hehe. So I've been laughing so much today about this website: www.itsredagain.com - I know, it's pretty silly but it just cracks me up!

Annddd apparently, my reservation for Happy Feet (for next weekend) is still available... It's a long story, but Happy Feet is playing at the IMAX and there was a lot of miscommunication about tickets, etc... Anyway, hopefully the plans and adventure will be smooth riding from now on... (:

Also, tonight Sandra is having one of her previous students and her family over for dinner and a movie! It's Cars! Yay! I'm sure it will be blast...

Last night a few of us played with the kids at church for the single mom's discipleship group... Lovely!!!! What a fun night - I really just love kids so much...

I feel like there is so much to say... I've been thinking about life and what I'm supposed to be doing and exploring options... *shrug* I guess we'll see...

Anyway, Blessings for your weekend!!

Love,
Bethany

Because everyone should enjoy the season @Starbucks!

A little sunshine amidst all the rain.

"You can't understand light unless you understand darkness, because that's where life is most often lived…somewhere between the two. It's messy and it's beautiful all at the same time." - Bebo Norman

It's definitely time for another update.

This weekend was packed and still going! Phew!! Actually, I got a lot of rest and was able to catch up on some reading... Friday night was crazy. I came home and talked to one of my roommates for a long while! It was so refreshing. She stayed home from school (work) that day and it was so nice to catch up. I was able to share my heart with her on a lot of the happenings. It seems Jesus has been doing a work and I am so grateful. Have you ever REALLY experienced intimacy with Jesus? And what does that look like? FOr the past week, it's been simple conversation throughout my day. I used to think that the quiet voice was simply my own thoughts and once and awhile I'd entertain them, but I decided to really communicate and extend these conversations. What an amazing gift it has been. I feel like I've been talking with Jesus like a close friend. It's nice because it's simple. Nothing too complicated. I yearn to grow deeper in this area. I've been reading "Practicing God's presence" about Brother Lawrence's relationship with Jesus. He too emphasized the quiet continuous conversations with the Lord. And when his failures, sin, or circumstances got in the way, he'd quickly divert his attention back to conversation with the Lord. Always focusing on loving Him and serving him to His utmost - in all situations - even the daily parts of his life. I love that he finds Jesus and intimacy with Him in the daily tasks as much or even more than the formal times of worship and prayer. My prayer is that my mind would also be absorbed in communion with Jesus.

As I have pursued this intimacy with the Lord, I have been made aware of my lack of truly KNOWING the King - my Jesus, my abba - my love. As I studied scripture and talked to Him, I realized how much I dont' realllyy know His heart. Know things about him. I mean I do understand salvation and the power of his death and resurrection - and have experienced some of the big theological concepts, but when it comes to His heart - His life, I am finding I am not as familiar. On the way to work on Friday, my heart was grieved over this and it almost brought me to tears. But He reassured me with His love, that if I seek Him, I will find Him. NOt to worry, that his love was still overflowing. And so I've begun my search. Reading and listening to scripture - all the while asking that He would speak to me - give me His perspective and thoughts while I study Him. I also purchased the case for Christ. I want to know Him. To be able to explain with uncontainable joy to another, WHO this Jesus really WAS and IS!

Anyway, Saturday morning we had discipleship. Following, my friend Kristie and I went to Panera and errand shopping. Mmmmm... Baked potato soup and a Red RIbbon Bagel - if you haven't tried one - you should! They're delightful!!! After, we hunted for a couple of books we both wanted to read. It's been SO much fun, because she has been wanting to read some of the same books I have pursued!! It's encouraging to be likeminded and have a similar heart to know Him better.





I was in kids church this week! I've been trying to figure out where I fit in. I've been in my classroom for several months and I LOVE the little ones. I'm just not sure what this season should be focused on. After church I was supposed to meet a friend for coffee, but it didn't work out... Oh, but I did find out that one of my friends from SPU got engaged the night before! Holy Cow - that was a surprise, for sure! She's a sophomore and is jsut so amazing. What a heart for Jesus.







Sunday was Isaiah's Birthday - Oh SO fun it was!!! All the little kids and what a beautiful day!! Seriuosly, the weather out here has been unbelievable!! Warm/Crisp - Colorful! The perfect combination for sure!! (: I love it. I spent the afternoon with Casey - we walked to Tricia's new house for a football party and later I headed to Julie Walton's Birthday!! What fun!!! I LOVE birthdays - they're just so special - you have the privilege of seeing and beign around all the special people in that person's life. It's a gift. There were about 9 of us there so it was intimate and cozy. We had dessert at CI Shenanigans and spent a couple of hours just hanging out...



And today I am back at work! Tonight is a surprise party... (: It should be a whole lot of fun... Tomorrow night is discipleship... Did I tell you that one of my cousins is coming to visit next month! I'm so excited!! Jesus is doing so much in my family! It blows me away. His spirit is really moving.

Well, I think that's about it! I added some pictures to my flickr site!

Anxious? Not sure where Jesus wants you to go next?

That's how I've been feeling lately! SO many opportunities, fun things to pour into, but what is my priority? What should I be focusing on whole-heartedly? Or should I just say "Yes" to everything.

Well last night before I went to bed, I read another chapter out of the book "Practicing God's Presence: Brother Lawrence for Today's Reader". Let me share with you...

Brother Lawrence described for me the foundation of this faith:a lofty view of God and a lofty love of God. Once he recognized this, he rejected everything else on the spot so he could live, work, and breath for the love of God.

But he didn't beat himself up if he somehow got distracted and forgot to focus on God. Instead, he would just confess his miserable sin before the Lord and turn back to Him with more confidence than ever.

In fact, he said, the confidence we have in God pleases Him greatly and brings even more grace. God will never, ever deceive us, and He'll never let someone who is totally dedicated to Him - ready to go through anything - suffer too long..

Because Brother Lawrence had grown in his relationship with God and knew from experience how quickly God would help him, he didn't panic when he ran into temptations. Instead, he would call on God and at just the right time, and the temptation would disappear.

Knowing this, when he had a job to do, he didn't worry about it ahead of time. He knew that when he had to move forward, God would show him clearly what to do, just as clearly as if he were seeing his own face in the mirror. At this point, he'd been following this course for some time, never expecting any troubles or roadblocks. Earlier, though, he'd always worried about the future.

What's more, Brother Lawrence never second-guessed what he had alread done and almost never the things he was doing. Even after dinner he could hardly tell you what he had eaten. In his own simple way he just kept doing all for the love of God, always keeping himself in God's loving presence and thanking Him for along the way for guidance.

When anything distrated him from keeping his thoughts on God, the Lord would send a fresh reminder, enough to fill his soul with an overwhelming sense that He Himself was right there. This presence was so strong that Brother Lawrence couldn't keep it to himself - he would have to cry out, sing, and dance.

He said he felt closer to God during the everyday stuff of life than when he hunkered down in formal prayer times that often left him spiritually dry. But, he added, he wouldn't be surprised if he were hit by trials, maybe even serious enough to derail the sense of God's presence he had enjoyed for so long. Even if that happened, though, God's goodness assured him that the Lord would never abandon him. He knew God would always give him the strength to stand against any evil...

...Living by faith and giving up one's own will are the first steps of that path. Joy follows - a joy that can even be described. And when the road gets tough, we turn to Jesus, asking for the grace that makes the way straight once more.

Brother Lawrence said many people lose their way doing penance, trying to work off their sins. The obvious result: they forget about love, the real goal. That's why we dont' see much true moral excellence shining through from inside them.

In the end, said Brother Lawrence, it doesn't take skill or a high IQ to come to God - just a heart totally sold out to the Lord, devoted to Him alone.

Okay, so I know that's practically the whole chapter - but read it through and be blessed. I pray that Jesus would come near to you today. That you would hear his voice - and let him consume your mind and heart.

Love, B

Salamanders, Corvettes and Kids!



What a FUN day today!! Work was pretty busy which I love!! Lots to do... We let a couple of gents go - so that was a bummer... but left me with some cleanup work to do... Kalvin brought some salamanders up that he found outside in the wash bay - I was thankful to have my camera with me!! Check him out... so cute... Later in the day he brought me outside to take some pictures of this z06 Corvette. A beauty (; The whole day went by SO quickly - and it just felt really good. I had a strong sense of Jesus being near - which is always a blessing and it felt like we were in communion the whole day - just talking... I am grateful...



Tonight after work I went with Sandra and my roommates to help at the Portland Ave commmunity Center. We had a family night with some of the kids who we've been picking up to come to New Song - What a blast. Oh how I love the kids. One of my dreams came true tonight - I got to let the kids take some pictures... Oh what fun! I love to see the world through their eyes!



Anyway it was such a fun night - we served dinner and there were several other New Songers there too... It was a great time of fellowship! Just a blessing for sure!!

And now it's beddy-by time... Good night!! Love you!

Bless the day
This restoration is complete
Dirty dusty something must be underneath
So I scrape and I scuff
Though it's never quite enough
I'm starting to see me finally

A gallery of paintings new and paintings old
I guess it's no surprise that I'm no Michael angelo
Every layer of mine hides a lovely design
It might take a little patience
It might take a little time

But you called me beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway

You who have begun this work will someday see
A portrait of the holiness you meant for me
So I polish and shine
til it's easier to find even an outline of mine

But you called me beautiful
When you saw my shame
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway
Anyway
And you placed me on the wall
Anyway

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

Did you know?



There have been SO many sunshiney days here lately. And maybe just a handful of the cloudy ones... I love it!

Last night was my dear friend Hannah's Birthday... THat's actually my roommate Jennalise... She brought my camera so I could bring you these lovely pictures!! (: So, I put them all on my flickr page and if you don't know how to get there... bookmark this link: http://www.flickr.com/photos/bleev. There are tons of my photos there and I actually update that page more than I write in my blog. I hope that you've had a fantastic week!! It's going to be a wonderful, fun filled weekend. Love you! ~B

The Guardian.

So GOOD! Loved it. Keeps you on the edge of your seat and your heart warm. (:

It was SUCH a fun weekend! We had some friends stay with us from YWAM! What a blast - Stasi from Singapore and Frauke from Germany... We took them for dinner and then Coldstone for IceCream with the rest of their teammates... Saturday I had discipleship and then Sandra and I had some quality time just talking and praying - sharing our hearts... We went to the Christian Bookstore and craftstore to get some fall decorations... I LOVE fall!! It's certainly one of my favorite seasons... Church was a followup service to the Student Rialto Night on Thursday. Awesome. Jennalise and I met a kid on the tram THursday - who accepted Jesus and was then at church on Saturday night too. What a miracle! The service was incredible. About Joy. Increasing in it. Fruit of the SPirit. Adam Narcisso spoke - what a refreshment and encouragement to see him walking in his calling.

Sunday - was a blast too - Went for groceries with Sandra and met our roomies at Cutters Point for some reading... Then Sandra and I went to The Guardian. Ahh... I loveeeed it!! (: A good ation movie - but also tugs your heart along for the ride. Ashton and Kevin were amazing. I loved their comraderie. (:

It's back at work and another busy week!

Blessings!

Good Morning!

It was a bit foggy on the way to work... but once I hit Hwy 16, the clouds broke and the sun shone so bright!! It was simply beautiful!! And the air is starting to feel crisper (; I LOVE it!!

So last night was a blast! Yesterday was just so much fun. I went to lunch at UWT - and met up with Hannah, Jennalise, and Michal! What an amazing campus. It was SO much fun being there with students walking around!! (School just started on Wednesday). I miss the college atmosphere a lot and it was so refreshing to see students walking around and sitting on benches socializing together! It brings back so many fun memories! I'd love to have a job there on campus and be right in the midst of the action... After work, Jenna and I parked at church and then took the little transit deal back down to campus for dinner! We met a few gals/students and invited a couple of kids we met on the transit to the Rialto! Fantastic!!! At the time to accept Jesus, one of them stood up!! Jenna and I freaked out with joy! What an amazing night... His salvation fell and many students/adults recommitted to Jesus. We did have an after party - and I met a gal who is going to school here in Tacoma for two years - from Korea!! She is living with her Aunt and came with a friend from school...

Oh and - so much fun - we have two gals from YWAM staying with us! Frauke is from Germany originally, and Stasi is from Singapore! Amazing women - they work at the YWAM Las Vegas base. Frauke slept outside my bedroom last night so we got to chat a bit about her story and how she got into YWAM... So sweet! Maybe we'll get a picture with them before they head out!!

I'm not sure the plans for the weekend... So far there's discipleship and a kids meeting before church tomorrow...

More later, friends!

In honor of the fall... Actually I made an email advertisement with this fall photo I took and thought it would be appropriate for my blog as well... (:



Tonight we're having a student outreach at the Rialto! 7:00P.M. 9th and Broadway!

See you there!

Welcome, autumn!

What about obedience?

That’s what I pray this book will prove to be—a kind of teaching that God will use to bring about impossible obedience to Jesus. And all of that for the glory of God...

Therefore, my aim has been to probe the meaning and the motivation of Jesus’ commands in connection with his person and work. What emerges again and again is that what he is commanding is a life that displays the worth of his person and the effect of his work. His intention is that we not disconnect what he commands from who he is and what he has done.

Been studying and examining our heart conditions regarding rebellion. Above is a quote from the introduction of John Piper's new book - regarding obedience to Jesus' commands. What Jesus Demands from the World...

And on the other note (rebellion). Authority and Submission by Watchman Nee.

Happy Birthday Lora!

Yay! It was such a fun night!! Lora's Birthday... (: We went downtown Seattle to Ivars and then to Late Night Catechism at the ACT Theater... A beautiful place... What a great evening celebrating Lora. She is such a good friend!!!

It's a packed day tomorrow - with lots going on!!! (: Discipleship at 9, UWT at 10, Alison's wedding at 1, and church soon following! I can't believe a week has gone by!!

Oooh! Check out this picture. I love the reflection!


And outside on the pier...


Okay, time for beddy by! Love you!

David Crowder.

Enough said. Well almost. Have you seen them live? They're probably one of my most favorite bands. I love their hearts of worship. Last night we went to the Puyallup Fair. It was my first time experiencing it! The scones, elephant ears... Mmmm! My tummy was a little overwhelmed before the evening was over... but let's get back to David Crowder Band. It was an amazing concert! I LOVE that it's all about Jesus. It's worship. Focused on Him. It was my second time seeing them live and I would see them over and over again, if I could... They just usher you into His presence - with such humility and JOY. I love it!

In fact I remember it was a couple years ago when their cd, "Illuminate" had been released... and I would listen to that cd over and over during my drives from Greenville to Iowa Falls. Simply crying out in worship! So amazing. You've got to pick these albums up! Illuminate. A Collision.

And did I tell you how much I love my roommates? What a fun evening and now tonight we get to Celebrate Lora's 30th!! WOOOHOOO!! (: More to come.

Hey it feels fantastic to be bubbling with JOY today. (:

Love you!

Wow, I'm sorry I've taken SO long to write!! It's been pretty busy these past few weeks, and so much has happened, but here I AM!! (:

It's Wednesday evening and I am sitting in my home watching "Hitch" with Sandra while she grades Sarah's 10th grade English tests. I have to tell you how much I LOVE my house. It's so much fun. I've had a great time getting to know the gals. Jennalise and I have clicked like sisters. She's SO sweet. We've had great conversation and have really connected. It's like a slumber party. Hehe. We usually talk before bed and she's been such a friend these past couple of weeks. I love it. (:

Then there's Sandra. She is amazing. What a humble servant's heart. I love her too. I appreciate that we can always just hang out together. We've already had some fun dinner/movie dates and some quick errands/adventures. She's so much fun to be with - I appreciate her compassionate heart and tender spirit.

Sarah and I have gone on some great walks and spent some good time together at UPS campus. Such good conversation. I love that I can be real with her. Honest. And she's simple. A pure heart. Genuine passion for the Lord. Senesitive to others.

Susanne and Krista and I have had some good times too. They're so wise. Full of compassion. Discerning and full of joy.

It really has been the start of an amazing season.

My parents were here this weekend. Interesting for sure!! Check out our cinnamon rolls and time in Gig Harbor. (:







I was sick on Monday night. Woke up early on Tuesday morning throwing up ): - quite a bummer - but was so thankful for a day to rest. Spent most of the day sleeping but got some great time with the Lord. Felt like he was just as excited to spend some time with me. A necessary infilling. Do you ever get reminded how much you find comfort or get an empty filling of nothing by the things of the world or people or acceptance, rather than Jesus? Psalm 63.

O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water. I have seen you in the sanctuary and beheld your power and your glory. Because your love is better than life, my lips will glorify you. I will praise you as long as I live, and in your name I will lift up my hands. My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

I love it. It makes me think of all the needs of our physical body and spirit cry out for. A desperation. And I love how David then responds in worship with his whole being. I love it. A desperation and a satisfaction. Nothing goes unmet. Sometimes I hear His voice calling out - amidst my own desires/desperation to be filled. "Let ME be the one to fill you. I want to love you completely. I am the one who desires to KNOW the deepest parts of your heart. I long to hear and experience your yearnings and worship." Oh! You have got to read some writings by David Crowder. In fact - David writes about this Psalm in particular. Read this:

What would it be like if joy in the desert were as natural as our love for bbq on a Texas Sunda afternoon in the middle of August? What would it be like to know without quesiton that God is as present on the floor of the canyon as He is on the crest of the hill? To have this confident hope buried deep in our bones. To know no other than our Savior and feel the soul scream, "THIS is ENOUGH!! I need no more than You!! You are a feast! You are a cool spring! You are deliverance! You are a balm for all wounds! Your near presence is everything! It is breath! It is Life!"

Then there are these lines from Psalm 103. I love it too.

Praise the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits -
Who forgives all your sins.
And heals all your diseases.
Who redeems your life from the pit.
And crowns you with love and compassion.
Who satisfies your desires with good things.
So that your youth is renewed like the eagles.

I love it. Oh Jesus, that you would FILL me up!! You ARE more than enough...

Tomorrow I'm going to see David Crowder. Friday it's Lora's Birthday!!! We're...... it's a surprise, but I'll be sure and share some pictures!!! (:

Alright, back to the movie... then I'm off to bed... Love you guys!!