17 minutes.

So I'm giving you 17 minutes of my time before picking up the book Captivating to read some excerpts before bed. I'm sitting in my bed with my Dell Inspiron 6000 on my lap and I am reminded of my purpose in purchasing it! Portable web-design! Hehe. Funny how life so quickly changes. I haven't done much webdesign at all lately but have still dabbled in some graphic design - ahemm... I'm sure you've noticed the Christmas background. The tree and snowman are my first attempts with vector graphics. (: I hope you enjoy the season of red... Oh and for a little explanation for the majority of you who cannot easily access the delightful world of Starbucks... It's definitely Christmas in those stores! And the red cup - well it's pretty significant... At least to those who treat themselves with a daily cup of cheer! (: If you haven't been in one you must go! It's so adorable. I LOVE the Christmas designs this year - the red MUG and to go cup in honor of the red cup... Oh yeah and if you haven't visit www.itsredagain.com you MUST now! It's so adorable. You will for sure get a little chuckle and even experience a little pre-holiday cheer! I know it may seem that Christmas is a world away, but can you believe that THANKSGIVING is NEXT WEEK! Did you hear that? Next week! Just a few more days. Whoa man, blow me away. It seems like it came so quickly. I mean falling leaves, lots of rain (here) and bam we're in the holiday season again. Phew. (:

Let's see more update on my life. I've been processing and thinking a lot about my future, about my calling and ministry... I guess I've been dealing with some fear - just not sure where I'm supposed to be - and yet bombarded with a zillion and a half passions and visions. I have sensed a deep hunger growing in my heart for adventure (that's the reason I'm going to pick up Captivating again. John Eldredge loves expounding on our hearts' cry for adventure.) Anyway for the past 5 months I've been involved with the University of Washington Tacoma ministry team and I have LOVED it. Jesus has shown me that I have a growing heart for college ministry and college age students. Theyr'e just so impressionable and I love them dearly. Maybe it's because I have experienced college and can "understand". Plus they really were some of the best years of my life. So many new life experiences, perspective changes, eyes opened. The memories I could share... And yes also some of the most difficult years of my life. But still, I don't regret them. I look back fondly and see over and over how Jesus revealed RESCUE to me. Over and over again... Anyway, last night it all came to a head or at least a burst of emotion. Like I said, I had been thinking about a lot of things lately and I realize that I internalize a lot of thoughts and then they end up becoming fears or things I am anxious about... Well, the Lord spoke to my fears of being alone and of taking risks to be fully Bethany! SOrry, distraction. Sandra came in with her new coat - which is SOOO cute and red and white. Hmm! Fits right in... Alright... where was I... Oh yeah - just an underlying inadequacy in the ministry the Lord has for me - wondering "what is my ministry and is it effective..." well prayer brought MUCH relief and a release from kids church to enter into greater relational PEOPLE loving and initiative ministry! I'm not sure what it will look like exactly - but more stuff with UWT, Relationships, friendships, and intercession. I'm SO thrilled.

On another note, you should all read "Practicing God's Presence" by Robert Elmer or the original by Brother Lawrence. It will rush you into the throne room of His presence and encourage you to keep plugged in with his Spirit. Oh I love it so much. I have been practicing conversation with the Lord and I realize how much he is just so simple and desires to know and be known just like any other friend.

Finally, IVY comes on Thursday and I am waiting with MUCH expectation. I know that Jesus has so much for her. It's been so wild to see how Jesus is slowly bringing restoration into my family. I pray that it continues to grow.

Tomorrow I have discipleship with Michal. We're talking about prayer and intimacy with the Lord. Yay. It should be awesome.

Alright, this has taken me a LOT longer than 17 minutes to write and I must go. I love you!!

10:01 P.M.
Bethany