More.

Lord, I want more of you.
Jesus, my mind needs to be renewed.
I want to be consumed.
All of me transparent.
Come Lord.

I cannot do any more.
So many bags trying to prove myself.
And you strain to get my attention.
You're enough, I hear...
but distracted by the noise of my own thoughts.

Come invade.
Clear out the clutter.
Jesus.

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It's been a fantastic weekend. I am learning to love just "being" with my Lord. It's an absolutely beautiful day here in Tacoma. Sunshine all around. And I LOVE my windows. (: Lora came over and I took some pictures of her. Hehe...



I'm just realizing how much that I want all of my life to be consumed by the King of Kings. As my Lord. Ohhh sweet Jesus - all of my life invaded by your spirit. Above around and through. I've been seeking the Lord with this song...

"From you is everything,
Through you I can live again,
To you be all glory for evermore."
Desperation Band.

An answer.

Wow, guys it's been so long since I've blogged... Do forgive me and know that I am doing quite well... Perhaps that's why I've been away and haven't had the time to sit down and really share my heart with you. But now perhaps since I know there are more readers and the faithful readers have been beyond patient, I will speak or write. (:

Well, in recent news, I had a Birthday! YES, I am now 25 years old. It's hard to believe. Funny but I remember when other significant people in my life turned 25... "You're a quarter of a century" I'd spout at them with a smile and a snicker... And ah ha, here I am. I have arrived. 1/4 of a century. Honestly, I don't feel much different than 10 years ago. But praise the Lord for all the work he's done in my life since then. There are too many things for which to be thankful. But I can't be silent. The Lord has done so much in just the past year. Praise Him for the house of girls at Casa De Pine. Talk about experiencing real friendship. Praise Him for circumstances a bit difficult which have shown me his ultimate acceptance. Praise Him for pushing me forward and beyond my own capabilities of leadership and into greater authority. Praise Him for providing beyond my wildest imagination and fulfilling every prophetic word of living downtown and hosting a UWT House...

Anyway, on a practical note, work is going phenomenal. Recently I hired a gal to help me out with the internet department at the dealership... and this gal just happens to be Katie who was one of my housemates at my previous house and also in my disicpleship group. She is absolutely amazing. I cannot speak higher of her. The Lord has so gifted her with people and the capability to win these people over... In Greenville College Strengths Finder terms; she is a WOO!!!! She's unbelievable and I am so blessed to have her part of my team. PLUS... Listen to this, she's "sold" or been a part of 5 sold cars in one week! Isn't that incredible? I'm so proud of her...

Life in my apartment is great. I love Jenna and Hannah. There are just three of us living there but I am praying that the Lord will provide that fourth person. For the past two months we've been provided for and haven't had to pay rent with the contract we are in at Court 17... This month is our first month "official" and the Lord has sufficiently provided financially for the three of us to live here... It's such a gift and I am blown away by his greater plan... In the meantime we've asked one girl and I considered asking another to move in but it just hasn't been the right fit... On the other hand though, I met an amazing gal Lindsey who absolutley loves the Lord and UWT campus. She came over for dinner last night and we had such a great time; talking aobut the Lord and sharing our lives. What an amazing woman. She has been through so much and I believe that the Lord is going to start reviving and healing her heart where she needs it. What an incredible testimony! We're going to start meeting on Sundays and digging into the Freedom book together...

So last week for my Birthday my roommates took me to get my nails done and then we went out for dinner... I haven't ever got my nails done and it was so much fun and so relaxing... I loved it! My nail color is called "Lincoln Park After Dark." It's a super dark purple... Then Friday night some other gals planned another party up in Seattle... Dinner at a small Italian place in Belltown and then dessert at a different cute place... if you haven't seen the pictures, check out flickr.com/photos/bleev - We had a blast. I was so blessed by their words and gifts. It was so amazing because every gift was so strategic and felt exactly from the Lord. It was like he was looking at my heart and knew what I needed or would LOVE without me even asking for it.

Oh and some interesting but still fun... And definitely has brought some "excitement" into my life... I met a couple of great guys a couple of weeks ago... Unique stories but I am so blessed. It's funny because just the week before I told Jennalise that I had asked the Lord for a husband... Anyway, I think so highly of both of the gentlemen and am SO grateful for the experieences of getting to know them, whether anything "becomes" of the situations or not. I pray that Jesus would bless them and draw them closer to His heart. And that perhaps our paths will cross again.

So... you have to know that I've been DESPERATE for the Lord to show up... Do you ever feel the tendency to be "normal". It's especially scary when you start to become "normal" and you kind of like it. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *shriek* When my mom left on Monday last week, I was driving home and sensed that the Lord was just reigniting my heart. I declared out loud in my car that I wasn't satisfied that I needed more in my life. I moved downtown but it wasn't enought. Reignite my passion. Give me something greater to move toward, Lord! I NEED MORE of you. My heart needs to be refreshed. I am in desperate need for a new breath of life to get my feet going and my heart spurred on... And He met me all week last week... Thursday night we had a gentleman from Integrity Media come and share his heart with us. I was so encouraged by so many of his little/big truths... but especially one... He told us that as we seek God for a huge vision and greater destiny he will give us the desire to pursue greater discipline in our lives to fulfill the vision. Yes, Lord! I need to be reinspired for my vision to be expanded... I want to be ready for what you have for me... for the dullness to leave my intimacy with you. For the Word to be reignited everytime I open it. For truth to pour into my heart and over flow. For me to be pouring out strategically where youv'e called me now. Oh Lord that you'd discipline my heart... And Jesus rip out all of my pride that has convinced me that by some crazy way I could live this life on my own and in my own strength... Oh Jesus, I apologize for every way that I have sought recognition and turned to pride... I am desperate for you, Lord. And my sense from the Lord the entire time of seeking His face for greater vision and refreshment in Him is CONFIDENCE. Confidence that He WILL meet me. And so after church I fell to my knees on my apartment floor and told him that I wasn't leaving until I was changed. I cried out and opened the word and poured over Philippians. My JOY had been stolen and sorrow/depression had crept in and silenced my heart... And HE met me. With every provoking scripture I stumbled over, I stopped, worshipped His heart, confessed my sin, intereceded and cried out for more. He met me...

And today a friend emailed me with this scripture reference beneath his name: Psalm 65:5. Do you know what it says? I was so thrilled and felt like the Lord was answering my cries directly... And that's what it says!

5 You answer us with awesome deeds of righteousness,
O God our Savior,
the hope of all the ends of the earth
and of the farthest seas.

Lord YOU ANSWER ME! Every cry for more, for refreshment, atonement... You answer... and you come with deeds of righteousness - that all may see your Glory. You rescue. You forgive. You fulfill promises. You breathe in new life. And YES Lord - YOU are my God - the one and only, my saviour who sanctifies me daily, you are the HOPE that does not disappoint. And not only for me, but to the ends of the earth. Yes! The vision you've given me for the nations, YES you fulfill and come through for them in equality. Oh Jesus thank you.

Lord, You are the treasure. And I will seek until I find you. I will not stop. I will not leave this place until your spirit fills and completes me. I will run to ends of the earth.

Be blessed by this song...
Treasure, Desperation Band.
Your breath is like rain
Your word it sustains me
I've come to this place
With intentions of finding You
Your truth is a lamp
Your wisdom my light
I'm seeking Your face
With intentions of finding You
I would run for a thousand years
If I knew every step would be getting me closer
I'd swim to the ocean floor
For my Lord is the treasure
My Lord is the treasure
Holy holy
Holy is the Lord...

So, I pray that as you seek the Lord for your hearts desires that you will pray with confidence knowing He answers. That he is worth the search.

P.S. One last thing! YOU MUST buy Stephen Baldwin's Book, The Unusual Suspect. My dear friend, Sherry was reading my blog and let me borrow it. You will laugh, cry, be surprised by his intimacy with the Lord and revelation into the spiritual realm. It's SUCH a good book. I highly recommend it. In fact, I just bought three copies off of amazon last week. Hehe...

I love you all and pray for many blessings and refreshment to your souls this week.