yesterday.

I stumbled across this blog that clearly speaks so much of my heart's mumblings today.

(Mind you, I just opened it in my Google Reader and my ponderings below are from this morning)

I sat at Forza this morning, without any coffee, wondering how to navigate this world. It seems like it is magnified ten times larger than what it was a few weeks ago. I feel that even the "simplest" things like "letting go" and "being loved" (and so many more) are such foreign concepts - leaving me with the reoccuring thought, "I just don't know."

I realize how inept I feel to think, see or even breathe. I am in NEED. As I meditated on Jesus being the perfect reflection of the Father, as well as a model for us living, I see how far I've come in trying to figure out life on my own.

I was brought Acts 17:28 this morning. As I read its context (vs 24-29), I discovered a God who is the source of life yet needs nothing of that life... Yet for some reason, he gives us BEING so specifically. BAM. Bethany enters the world of existence at the perfect time and place. He wanted her to be Asian but/and he wanted her to live in the United States of America. "Perfect! I'll invent adoption," he resolves.

Next, we see Him as Emmanuel (he is not far from each one of us). The One who has stepped beyond the role of creator and into the realm of his creation. He breathed me into existence at the one and only perfect time in all of time. But it doesn't stop there. He became the progressive/life/blood of my day to day existence. I navigate moment by moment only by His grace. For in him [I] live and move and have [my] being. Only through Him will I be loved, learn to be loved and learn to love, and love others. He is my compass, life vest and ship all at the same time... Wow. Take a breath and let that sink.

...It doesn't stop there though... I didn't ask the question... but the Scripture answered me anyway. (I think He was just covering all the bases, because sooner or later I would ask.)

WHY?

God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him.

He yearns for the love and affection of His created ones. He wants me. He wants me to know Him deeply. He wants me to walk with Him and see the passions and depths of His heart. He wants to share HIS secrets with me. He wants me to be on His team. He wants to be sought and understood.

He's the one who's taught me that I long to be desired. He's the one gave me a heart to be loved.